Smalley's writing is rich, nimble and warm…even the most casual reader will find something to love.

Reviewed by Matt Bright

In its specifics, That Boy Of Yours Wants Looking At is about author Simon Smalley's youth in 60s and 70s Nottingham, unavoidably 'different' to his peers - surviving the early loss of his mother and the tribulations a school system rife with homophobia and simmering violence - and it certainly is specific, packed full of rich detail that will strike sparks of recognition with any who remember the same locality and era. But in its widest, most universal sense, this is a memoir about growing up as an outsider, learning to not only survive but eventually find the strength to flourish, and this is the book's undeniable power.

That Boy Of Yours Wants Looking At places its main focus on Simon's relationship with his father: ex-RAF, recently widowed, and parenting a gaggle of constantly-jibing siblings. If your first thought on hearing that description was the same as mine, don't fear - this is not another dour entry in the misery-lit memoir genre. Simon's father is unfailingly supportive, accepting his son for all his many quirks—be that marching on glittery platform heels through the estate or his burgeoning sense of queer sexuality as the years move by—and it is impossible not to be utterly, wholeheartedly endeared to Simon's father, who wants nothing more than for his son to find happiness in whatever he can.

This is not to say the book is in any way rose-tinted or trite -far from it; there are a myriad of tensions and challenges that Simon faces, most notably the constant threat of violence from his school peers ready to explode at any moment, but throughout his father's love and acceptance remains an unwavering constant. If there is any criticism to be made it's that the prominence of Simon's father doesn't leave much oxygen for the other figures in his life--I was left curious wanting to know more about both his rotating circle of siblings and the female school friends who are often his fiercest champions. But when the worst thing to complain about is wanting to know more, the author has done their job. 

Anyone who loved Simon Doonan's Beautiful People will find a lot to love in That Boy Of Yours Wants Looking At, but Smalley's writing is rich, nimble and warm in a way that also reminded me of the novels of Tony Warren with their raft of queer characters coming of age amongst the working-class cities of the 50s and 60s. I'm not sure if hoping for a 'sequel' to a memoir is quite the thing to do, but I'd happily listen to Smalley spin stories of his life for as long as he wanted to tell them. I found myself almost painfully connecting with with personal specificity to so many details of Simon's life — being unspokenly marked as different before the idea of gay or queer ever enters your own lexicon; the tensions of the schoolyard and the small refuges; the escape and reinvention of exploring music; binding the body underneath clothes in a war against its distorted image — even as I found myself yearning for a father figure as comforting and reassuring as Simon's.

Queer readers will absolutely feel that kinship with Simon, but even the most casual reader will find something to love in The Boy of Yours Wants Looking At — and if there's one thing we'll all be able to agree on it is that the world would be a better place if every father was like Simon's.

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The writing is remarkably powerful, the detail incredible and the imagery rich and often unexpected.

Reviewed by Nigel Heritage

What a book! It has so much. It takes you, with astonishing detail, on a tumultuous ride through a childhood at times glitteringly delightful, at times tortuously difficult. Sometimes the story seems overwhelming and fantastical; surely it cannot have been like that.  However, as Thomas Hardy said; ‘Though a good deal is too strange to be believed, nothing is too strange to have happened.’ And a lot happened to Simon as he grew up in Nottingham in the 1960s and 70s; this engrossing book makes you want to keep reading to find out what on earth happened next.  

This memoir has a rich array of characters, including his five siblings, but the stars are Simon and his understanding, loving parents, especially magnificent Dad. They loved and encouraged their ‘different’ son to be himself; it is a shame that his school and some in the local environment were not so understanding.  

The tough times Simon endured are written about as intimately and directly as his sequin-focused creativity so be ready for a book that wrenches your heart and inflames your sense of injustice as much as it warms you, makes you grin with glee and brings laugh-out-loud moments too.

The writing is remarkably powerful; the detail incredible and the imagery rich and often unexpected. Simon reminds you how it feels to be a child, describing so many, often simple, situations such as your first school dinner, so vividly that his writing forces your own long-forgotten memories to the fore as you recall your own feelings and reactions at a similar age.

Music, performers and pop culture weave themselves throughout the story; they are so huge and important a passion in Simon’s life bringing inspiration, guidance and support. In one disturbing passage even these usually reliable friends turn dark and demonic causing havoc until Simon regains control.

Through many harsh setbacks and personal insecurities, Simon shows time and again, that as well as having loving parental support, he is an unapologetic survivor. The final chapters bring real hope with Simon on the brink of a new dawn. This book tells an exceptional tale and do you know what; it really wants looking at!  so get your copy now.

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Smalley manages to tell these pieces of his childhood with a never dimming light, verve, and spark that seeps into even the darkest moments of his life.

Reviewed by ‘Nathan Burgoine

There’s a made-up word—a portmanteau, really—I often use when I describe stories I read about childhoods with supportive parents: agnostalgia. I believe such childhoods existed, but I just don’t have a frame of reference of my own, and the best I can often manage is a sort of reserved judgement about how that might have been. So I feel like I need to truly underscore just how much Simon Smalley, in his biography That Boy of Yours Wants Looking At, managed to pen such an incredible glimpse of a life of a young queer boy who grew up almost where I was born, albeit thirteen years earlier, and transported me in so many ways into a family experience I never had but truly felt on a visceral level.

So often, stories from queer people begin with the incredibly common experience of utter isolation from our own families, ostracism and hate and violence from those outside of our home, alongside the relentless beat of “I’ll make it if I just get away from here,” and while I do not in the slightest wish to diminish those lived realities—including my own—there was something so brilliant, healing, and restorative about reading Smalley’s parents and how they handled having a child who was, it cannot be understated, seemingly born fabulous. His mother dotes on the boy Simon’s sense of whimsy, imagination, and delight, and his father—a retired RAF man—takes up those reins without fail upon Simon’s mother’s passing. A moment recounted in the book, where young Simon asks his father to help him make his eyelids appear like the tail feathers of a peacock and his father rises to the challenge immediately, had me pausing to swallow past a throat full of the “agnostalgic” hope and joy and healing.

On that basis alone, I could hand this to anyone interested in queer biography, but Smalley’s journey isn’t just his sequinned youth at home. The outside world is decidedly itself in 1970’s England, and Smalley’s armor of Punk, Protest, and Unapologetic Queerness sees plenty of use—and isn't always up to the immediate challenge. His school life is a misery with little reprieve from those who should have looked out for him, the disdain and hate of others lands hits to his physical and mental health—there is a doctor I should like to punch someday—yet somehow Smalley manages to tell these pieces of his childhood with a never dimming light, verve, and spark that seeps into even the darkest moments of his life.

I often talk about how the vast majority of queer people grow up without a sense of inheritance; it’s not like most of us have queer parents telling their queer children about their queer grandparents, and how much pressure it exerts in two ways. First, queer people themselves to make sure their stories and histories are out there for new generations, and second, those new generations need to actively seek out and find those stories. I am so glad That Boy of Yours Wants Looking At exists, and I truly hope it is found by generations to come.

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A remarkable book of pain, struggle, acceptance and overcoming relentless adversity.

Reviewed by Kim Mian

‘That Boy of Yours Wants Looking At’ completely absorbing. I lurched from each and every emotion, following the highs and despicable lows inflicted on the author Simon Smalley. Growing up in the same era, Simon’s intricate descriptions of the 60’s and 70’s transported me to those times; I laughed out loud on his obvious dislike of the radio programme ‘Sing Something Simple’ as I to this day share that feeling!

What this beautifully written memoir left me with above everything else however, was that despite her death at such a young age, Simon’s beloved mam was his guide and strength throughout his adversity, coupled with the unyielding love and devotion of his wonderful Dad. This was the triumph of the story which permeated throughout every page of this amazing book.

A remarkable book of pain, struggle, acceptance and overcoming relentless adversity.

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Smalley’s excellent writing and ability to keep his readers’ attention…witty, wise, and totally affirming.

Reviewed by Jerry L. Wheeler

What do you do with a well-written, engaging, enjoyable book whose main character’s life experience runs counter to not only yours but that of nearly every queer person you’ve ever met? That’s my only problem with Simon Smalley’s memoir, That Boy of Yours Wants Looking At.

Growing up in Nottingham in the late Sixties/early Seventies was a rough go economically for Smalley’s parents and his five siblings, but his father, Sid, had a decent job as an industrial photographer who did weddings and the like on the side. Smalley’s recollections are quite detailed, almost as if he’d been taking notes on his childhood, but Smalley explains this by way of a short introduction to the book where he states he has hyperthymesia, or an ability to recount his experiences with exhaustive detail. And there’s no question that it’s served him well here. He seems to have no difficulty recalling entire conversations verbatim.

As a boy, Smalley made no attempt to hide or disguise his rejection of traditionally masculine toys such as footballs or soccer paraphernalia or cowboy outfits. Smalley’s preferred Christmas and birthday presents were toy sewing and washing machines, velvet, jewelly baubles, and similar items that would have gotten me and most of the queer men I know thrown out of the house. Smalley’s parents, however, willingly indulged him despite, one assumes from the title, the opinions of others. His siblings may have been confused by him, but they were ultimately supportive.

After his mother, Betty, died, I held my breath, convinced that his father would put a halt to such nonsense and attempt to turn him away from velvet and lace, but I was wrong. He encouraged the boy’s love of androgynous glam rockers like Marc Bolan, David Bowie, and the like. No whim went unsatisfied when it came to haircuts, clothes, or music. Needless to say, coming from a father whose sole advice regarding life and sexuality was: “Never hit a woman in the breasts or the crotch,” I was stunned.

So, what’s wrong with a childhood without relentlessly toxic masculinity? Absolutely nothing. But it’s so far removed from my own experience and that of so many men of my generation, it’s jaw-dropping. And for me, it was narrative-stopping at times. I occasionally had to put the book down and wonder how such treatment would have made my life easier. But your reaction may be different. A good friend of mine also read it, and when I mentioned this issue, he said, “I know, but I decided not to let it bother me.”

The point, however, is a minor one, mostly overridden by Smalley’s excellent writing and ability to keep his readers’ attention. Perhaps it’s even a case of jealousy on my part. Again, you might feel differently. Either way, you’ll find much to like in That Boy of Yours Wants Looking At. It’s witty, wise, and totally affirming. Let his parents serve as an example rather than an exception.

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There is much to wonder at in this gripping story and much to learn.

Reviewed by Amorel

“Choose your parents wisely,” said Bertrand Russell. Few people can have chosen more wisely than Simon. As a child he experiences more trauma and tribulation than any young person should have to bear, yet he deals with it – now if not then – with sparkling good humour, a deft way with words, and a noticeable absence of rancour.

I was shocked to read of the callousness with which he was treated in many different situations by adults in positions of responsibility who showed a complete lack of empathy and turned a blind eye to horrific bullying and cruelty, but the horror is offset by the empathy and love of his truly remarkable parents. How, one wonders, did his father – presumably with no background in these matters - manage to tune in so sensitively and supportively to his son’s “difference” at a time when being gay was something to be swept under the carpet?

And the biggest question of all: how would Simon’s life have unfolded if he had been born 50 years later, when “diversity” and “inclusion” are the buzzwords of the day? There is much to wonder at in this gripping story and much to learn. Chapeau, Simon.

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A heart-warming, fearless and powerful memoir.

Reviewed by Hattie & Ian Copus

This heart-warming, fearless and powerful memoir will stay with you long after you read it. Because of his irrepressible spirit and literary prowess, Simon Smalley writes with such eloquence and sparkle.  His writing glitters like a million of his beloved sequins.

The beginning of the memoir delights us as we hear about Simon's idyllic first eight years. His spontaneous joy, his innate happiness and his exuberance shine through, only to be shattered. Fortunately, he still had the support of his dad who never let him down, and a chance encounter with Marc Bolan was crucial to Simon's survival. Music became his balm and his refuge from the many storms that swirled around him.

On every level we identify with Simon's heartbreak, yet we are comforted like he was by these wonderful, caring parents, who were so progressive in the 60's. Having grown up in similar times and circumstances, we were constantly transported back to our own childhood and teenage years. Therefore, this memoir resonated so meaningfully and forcefully for us.

When we confront the despicable bullies, the physical pain of his disabilities, and the emotional torment, Simon holds us in his grip.  Despite the seemingly overwhelming odds, we are reminded of his innate strength and determination. As he faced each challenge, we were continually reminded of the words in Maya Angelou's famous poem, “And still I rise!”

Nevertheless, this memoir would not have been a true reflection had there not been so many laugh-out-loud moments. We loved his continued correction of the grammar of the insults thrown at him by his tormentors, and we wish we could have been there to see him showing off his toy washing machine!

The tension rises in the later episodes until we ultimately witness the almost 20-year-old Simon's thrilling escape from his cage. We share in his excitement, anticipation, and hope for the future. Thank you, Simon, for sharing your memoir with us; we feel privileged to have read it.

We maintain that this memoir should be on required reading lists far and wide, to assist professionals, young people and the world in general, to accept our differences. For young people are still being bullied, in one form or another, and their suffering is still ignored.

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His exquisite use of the simile make this a thoroughly rewarding read.

Reviewed by Kevin Cooper

This memoir has to be one of my best reads in the last few years. It is a tough tale of a boy striving to express his individuality throughout his teenage years, always supported at home by his loving father, sisters and, perhaps more grudgingly, his brother.

The bulk of the book focuses on Simon Smalley's schooldays, and the honesty and pain becomes so real that one can almost be there, observing as an unseen member of the class his struggle to be accepted by almost anyone bar his two girlfriends Ju and Jacqui. Simon also provides vivid descriptions of his many visits and stays in the hospital during his teenage years.

Simon has an amazing memory and the detail with which he recalls his early life is incredible. His exquisite use of the simile make this a thoroughly rewarding read, despite the heartache and suffering he endures throughout the early years of his life. Simon is already working on the next instalment, and I for one can't wait.

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A story of determination and strength of human spirit.

Reviewed by David Holtom

A remarkable book of pain, struggle, acceptance and overcoming relentless adversity. Trying to understand, and failing to grasp that people can be so cruel, abusive and relentlessly unkind to another fellow human is emotionally draining at times. Supported and encouraged by his extraordinary father, it’s a story of determination and the strength of the human spirit. Everyone should read this book, in fact it should be included in the National Curriculum.

The eloquent exuberance of the writing never slackens.

Reviewed by Pete Jay

This beautifully written, enthralling story about the formative years of an extraordinary person evokes the entire spectrum of emotions. Undoubtedly the support from Simon Smalley's parents was unique and unconventional for the latter half of the twentieth century. The fact that his father, who is described as "an ex-RAF tail-gunner", embraced and encouraged his youngest son's distinctive, flamboyant nature is remarkable in itself.

The complex psychological and physical hardships and misfortunes endured by the author are never related in a self-pitying way and - although he has every right to do so - he never portrays himself as a victim. There certainly is no "woe is me" within the pages.

To summarise this book it would be simple to use the words 'emotional rollercoaster' but that is the most apt description of the ride that you will find yourself unable to leave until the very end. The eloquent exuberance of the writing never slackens, and the author's admirable candour firmly places you as if you are viewing the events through his eyes, or looking over his shoulder.

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Will bring tears to the eyes.

Reviewed by Joy Rushton

I have just stepped off the emotional roller coaster contained within the pages of this book. I felt comfort, warmth and gentleness that led to despair, pain and anger.  When I closed the cover, courage and hope leapt out as a tentative path towards the future dawned.

Simon Smalley captures the grim realities of life in Nottingham during his formative years but the pages are illuminated by  three shining stars, Simon and his parents.  His parents were people of extraordinary empathy, whose non-judgement parenting of their youngest child will bring tears to the eyes of those who enter this world.

This is a kaleidoscope of a young boy’s traumatic life, honestly and bravely shared with the reader.  Sprinkled with sequins, inspired by Marc Bolan, ignited by Punk Rock.  Simon Smalley you are a gem.

Many thanks for allowing me the privilege of reviewing this book.

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An inspirational memoir with a powerful message that transcends any generation or time period.

Reviewed by Laura Uttley

By the end of this memoir, you'll be hard pressed not to wonder what came next for Simon Smalley - such is the riveting nature of his early life.

At times – particularly for those of a younger audience - the depiction of life in the 1960/1970s feels much further away than the 50-60 years that it actually is. All too familiar however, is the bullying and emotional and physical assaults dished out throughout Simon's early life for daring to remain true to himself - a recognisable experience for far too many individuals both past and present.

Whilst the retelling of Simon's start in life covers many trials and tribulations, one of the most moving and heart warming aspects is found in the form of Simon's dad. It's hard not to feel a deep respect for a man who not only continued to raise his family the best way he knew how, after the death of his wife, but who also managed to do it with grace, understanding and unconditional love, at a time when this would have been virtually unheard of. The complete acceptance of Simon for who he was, without a shred of judgement, speaks to the calibre of Simon's dad and serves as a reminder that the right support, encouragement and love, goes a long way to establishing courage and hope in the face of adversity. 

Despite the traumatic events told within this book, from the childhood loss of a parent to personal battles with body image and self esteem, the humorous style of this author's writing comes to the fore. In essence this provides the reader with a unique account of a journey that whilst heavily emotive, is nicely balanced by the humour, glitz and glamour of Simon's adolescent years.

This is an inspirational memoir with a powerful message that transcends any generation or time period.

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Your heart will swell with joy.

Reviewed by Thom Seddon.

"That Boy of Yours Wants Looking At" was a challenging read. Not because of the way it's written; Simon's ability to describe his memories goes beyond lyrical into the voluptuous, the way that certain scenes in his life don't just unfold on the page, but bloom.

No, the reason I use the word 'challenging' was because I wasn't able to reach between the lines and pull this fabulously unique, and fragile boy out from the situations he was thrown into, to protect him from the tormentors and the tragedies life gave him. But your heart will swell with joy at each arrival of the shining star that is Simon's father.

If you want an example of unconditional love, and never-ending support you won't find any as crystal clear as the one in this book between this dad and his son. Yes, Simon battled adversity, and discrimination to levels you wouldn't wish upon anyone, but to have his father in his corner every step of the way at least reassured you that when they were together, you knew that boy was safe.

I agree; this boy wants looking at; so you can see for yourselves just how special, and loved he is, and discover how much he'll overcome.

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Captivating and emotive without seeking sympathy.

Reviewed by Anita Johnson

This thought-provoking memoir is about the challenges faced by the author during his formative years and his quest for freedom. A childhood spent in a multicultural, working class area of Nottingham threw very few lifelines to a boy who defiantly refused to allow his sense of self to be thwarted.

I liked this book because it was captivating and emotive without seeking sympathy. The detailed recollections transported me to the events described as if I was experiencing them personally.

The people I most admired were Simon’s parents because they unhesitatingly encouraged their young son’s creativity and interests. The significance of this parental love and support is clearly demonstrated throughout the book.

The front cover speaks for itself with respect to the diverse audience this memoir will appeal to. It is very well written and glittered with humour.

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This is a story of courage, loss, resilience, family and sexuality.

Reviewed by Paul Johnstone

This is a very moving account of a childhood filled with love, tragedy and trauma. I don't want to divulge too much in the way of specific detail as that may be a spoiler for those who wisely choose to dedicate some of their precious reading time to this first book by Simon Smalley.

Suffice to say young Simon had to deal with a lot of very tough stuff from a very early age. This is a story of courage, loss, resilience, family and sexuality with a smidgeon of glam-punk rock'n'rollery acting as an accompanying contemporary cultural soundtrack.

Simon has written very openly and honestly about his early life and it is reassuring to know that Simon is very much a survivor who has overcome the challenges that he faced as a young boy. Simon shares his experiences with a great deal of warmth and humour and I am very much looking forward to reading part two of his memoir when it is ready for publication.

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A one-of-a-kind book

Reviewed by Bea & Kevin Sawka

What a fabulous book…the amount of detail and recollection is amazing. It’s the kind of book you can’t put down because you want to see what Simon is up to next and how the people around him respond and react.

His mum and dad were obviously very supportive of him, which is great but also a bit surprising given the time period of his upbringing. The only thing I can think of how he could improve is why did it take so long to finally commit to writing this one-of-a-kind book.

Can’t wait until the next book comes out…hopefully sooner than later.

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I have never been so overwhelmed by a book before.

Reviewed by Carol McC

I have never been so overwhelmed by a book before. Simon Smalley’s writing has an incredible way of taking you along an amazing journey, transported to a world that he makes you feel a part of. For a writer to be able to make you feel physically in his world is rare, trapped in the late 60's early 70's, feeling all his emotions.

It is a book that makes you at times, laugh out loud but at the same time, cringe at how cruel and depressing life was. His father a true hero, showing so much kindness, love and understanding at a time, when so few understood or accepted a boy who just happened to be born different to other boys.

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Inspirational! So many fantastic memories of growing up in the 60’s & 70’s

Reviewed by Dean McKay

What a fantastic read Simon. I’m not normally a book reader but I read the whole book in 3 days. Having known Simon since my teens I knew I was in for a good read when I heard about the book release.

So many ups and downs in your life Simon but thankfully your Dad was there for you throughout to give you so much love and assurance and make you the man you are today. He was a wonderful man. Your book made me laugh out loud and also shed a tear. Reading your memoirs brought so many fantastic memories back of growing up in the 60’s & 70’s and especially the 80’s with all the fashion and music.

You’ve done yourself proud, and I can’t wait to read your next book.

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Written from the heart

Reviewed by Karen O’Reilly

This book touched my heart the era brought back so many memories of my own childhood good and bad times. It is written from the heart and you can tell.

Sometimes a tough read. I was literally in tears, Simon shares the reality of school days in the 70’s and they weren’t a good place to be for anyone who didn’t fit the so called Norm.

My one criticism of the book is I have been left wanting book two. I do hope Simon has started it.

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You really need to read this book.

Reviewed by Verified Amazon Reader

What an amazing book!...it's one of those once you start you cant put down thinking "Oh what happens next"....So well written a real rollercoaster of events, it made me laugh out loud and cry the things Simon had gone through as a child, having a loving family who supported him through the bad days. I wont go into what happened as I don't want to spoil the story but you really need to read this book. I loved it and cant wait to read the next part of his story....

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This would make an incredible film.

Reviewed by D.J. Bennett

A great memoir - there are enough twists and turns in this autobiography to keep you enthralled. This would make an incredible film. As much as it's Simon's story, the real hero here is his remarkable father. I'll leave it at that...

Inspired.

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High moments and horrible lows.

Reviewed by Karen Steven

I loved reading this book. Simon describes in incredible detail his journey through childhood to being a young man with high moments and horrible lows. The beautiful relationship of father and son shines throughout the book.

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An unforgettable read.

Reviewed by Margery

Excellent and riveting book that is hard to put down. Every emotion imaginable is involved in this amazing story. It would have taken the author a lot of guts to put pen to paper with his memory of systems that failed him time and time again. His father shines like a beacon throughout the book. Simon rose from the ashes like the Phoenix. Well done an unforgettable read. Can’t wait for the next sequel.

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Sad, loving, truthful, honest, courageous.

Reviewed by Anastasia Holtom

Just finished the book and I loved it!

It's beautifully written, I pretty much read it in 3-4 sittings, it was that easy flowing. The subject was not particularly easy though. Honestly, I felt like slapping every single adult that was around Simon in his childhood! With the exception of his Dad, so loving, so supportive. Outstanding parenting for any time, but in the times when overwhelming majority of people were that ignorant about homosexuality, emotions, mental health, his Dad was, well, exceptional. It is of course ultimately a story of Simon's journey (sorry, can't think of a less banal expression!) Sad, loving, truthful, honest, courageous - I'm waiting to see the story continued in the next book.

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A boy with kaleidoscope eyes.

Reviewed by Pierre Champion

Simon has a wonderful way of writing and telling his story. His words are rich, colourful and poetic. His emotions are deep and you can’t but only share them and be moved!

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Indefatigable spirit and creativity.

Reviewed by Martin Barden.

In this first volume of his memoir, Simon Smalley takes us back to his childhood in the East Midlands of the 1960s and ‘70s. 100 miles north of London, Nottingham was not swinging like King’s Road Chelsea, comprising tight-knit working class communities still employed in heavy industry, mining and other now long-lost remnants of Britain’s industrial revolution. 

Simon is, of course, the star of his story, but his parents play a huge role in his development and nurturing. His stylish, loving and doughty mother cherished and never questioned her boy’s unusual self-expression and achingly delightful love of sequins, chiffon and all things bright and beautiful. She was everything anyone could have wished for in a mother. Not to be overshadowed (and not to give away too much of the story), his father in turn wrapped Simon in a cloak of compassion and determination, meeting every challenge head on and showing his troubled son limitless support and kindness.   

A central motif to Simon’s childhood was his love of Marc Bolan and his chartbusting band T.Rex. Bolan weaved magical tales of wizards and cars and other-worldly stars, sweeping up Simon into his embrace and allowing him the space to recline like the universe in his hair. In tribute our young hero created a pair of T.Rex shoes, fabricated from polystyrene, glitter and glue, representing his indefatigable spirit and creativity. Simon took dressing up to another level – with his extraordinary parents as his enablers.   

Much darker times were never far away, particularly at school where Simon was brutalised by other boys while teachers mocked and discouraged him. A careers adviser may as well have told him to go swim in the Trent wearing concrete boots. To the rescue came an art teacher who embraced Simon’s creativity and gave him an outlet for his head full of ideas.   

But the bullies didn’t win, the teachers could not keep him down. By the end of the book, a late-teenage Smalley has been through the mangle more times than most of us will experience in a lifetime, but picks himself up again to push open the door to the next stage in his life. Phillip Larkin wasn’t right about all of us, after all.

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A truly inspiring book!

Reviewed by Bluesbluesdancer

This book is so amazing! Not only is it a fascinating story of the young life of a gay lad growing-up in England, but it is also the love story of a son and his fantastic parents, and especially his amazing and refreshing Dad. We watch as Simon grows up in a homophobic world where having a dad that loved him and wanted him to be anything that he wanted to be was most definitely the exception to the rule! It is a vignette from a time 'back-in-the-day', well written and unsurpassably spectacular!

If you are an Anglophile, or just someone who loves stories that make you feel good about life, then this is for you!

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Bang a gong for this 20th century boy.

Reviewed by David Thorpe

“Growing up” is difficult for everyone, even for those of us who conform to what is supposed to “be normal”, so to be a little different, even when you’re not really sure you are different, must lead to many “what’s happening to me?” moments. All this confusion for Simon, following on from losing his Mum at a very young age, could have led him down dark paths, but with the constant support of his - probably often mystified Dad - plus his two loving sisters, and…..(well, maybe not his brothers!)….but also not forgetting T Rex - he made it, to give us a book to make us smile, and a lump in our throats on several occasions. It made me think of my childhood, and the love and care I always received from my parents, a gift sadly not shared by all children.

It’s been one of those books that, while reading in bed, I think - “well I’ll just read another 3 or 4 pages, and then switch the light off” - but then find I’ve just read another 20!

Highly recommended.

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Beautiful, sad, happy, warm and glam!

Reviewed by Marc Regan

I do not read as often as I should and when I do pick up a book I want to enjoy the experience like a good movie. Simon and I have never met in person yet we have known each other on a level of friendship for almost 20 years during which he has shared some personal struggles and his battle with sobriety. When one particular event happened to him I was caught off guard as it seemed out of character to the person I shared on line posts with but what did I really know about Simon Smalley.

Having read his book I now can see what shaped him good and bad. I laughed at the bitter sweet comedic nostalgia, smiled warmly at memories he evoked in my mind from my own 70s English childhood and I cried for him and with him. Finally I personally got so angry with some of his tormentors both young and grown mature adults, that I hope they read this book and hang their heads in shame. I am not gay, I could not possibly understand what that means or feels like but I have a better understanding from reading this book.

I am in awe of Simon's parents, in particular his ever loving Father, what a fabulous man and I am humbled at how good a father he was.

The world has changed in many ways not always what we want to see but acceptance and tolerance have certainly improved if still not perfect Simon’s story reflects those changes.

Finally I felt his liberation and I was grateful he shared this in his own words, and for our enduring friendship.

As Simon likes to sign off with me from one old tart to another.

Darling!!! I loved it and look forward to your next installment

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Memoir of a gay young man, definitely worth a read, but overall filled with tragedy.

Reviewed by Daisy Teragram

I loved the parts of the little boy Simon, when he was so happy and carefree, and totally his own person. Later on, his story gets much more grim and tragic. I really felt for the main character! I wish his life had been more uplifting throughout, and while the ending is positive, we don’t really get to see him come into his own.

The author has his own style, which works. His story is gripping and I think he tells it well. The story takes him from quite a young boy (a toddler?) to about 19, I think. It’s not just about him finding himself and other gays (we don’t really get to see him do that), but also about how he deals with family and also some various medical issues.

As a middle class American, I was especially struck by his poverty and circumstances. I don’t think he really felt impoverished, but it was striking compared to my own childhood. I think we are close in age, growing up at roughly the same time. He really had excellent support from his parents, and some from other family members, but he suffered immense bullying.

I received a review copy and am reviewing that version.

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A series of almost Dickensian episodes.

Reviewed by David Swatling

Set in working class Nottingham, England during the 60s and 70s, Simon Smalley's coming-of-age memoir is a heartfelt story of family, love, and resilience.

As a young boy, Simon displays early signs of a flamboyant and creative personality. But a family tragedy turns his world upside down at the tender age of eight. As he grapples with grief, he is forced to deal with a barrage of bullying classmates and teachers, nurses and neighbors, in a series of almost Dickensian episodes.

A supportive art teacher notes Simon's "unusual eye for detail." The same can also be said of his writing style, which sometimes goes too far - especially for a reader squeamish with health issues and medical procedures. However, Simon's perseverance in overcoming so many painful obstacles, physical and mental, makes him the engaging and authentic hero of his story; a story, which at its heart, centers on the love between a father and his son.

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Great read.

Reviewed by Anne Begg

Incredible sensitive, heart warming, wonderfully well written. I loved this story and was bitterly disappointed when I realised I’d reached the last page. Bring on the sequel!.

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Thought provoking and emotional.

Reviewed by Howardy

What an unbelievably addictive book. This book transports you into Simon’s early life. The words convey perfectly every emotion he must have felt in his formative years. Thought provoking, humbling and at times utterly shocking. An essential read for everyone and anyone. A truly fantastic piece of writing and I can’t wait for the next instalment.

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Fabulous.

Reviewed by Karl Fox

Phenomenal writing an in depth eye opening account full of warmth an smiles.

Excellent

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A thought provoking read.

Reviewed by Rodney Willard

Disclaimer: I am Simon's cousin, although I have had no contact with him since 1968.

This book had extra interest with me as I know some of the characters, including my dear Aunty Betty and Uncle Sid.

The content is harrowing in parts and inspiring in others. That Simon has survived and blossomed into an author is a credit to him. This is a slice of social history which shows that, in acceptance of difference we have moved on for the better, but in respect of the curse of bullying we have regressed, driven by pervasive social media.

Well worth reading and contemplating.

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Compelling read for past and future generations.

Reviewed by Deborah Demaree

Simon writes with a recollection of childhood memories so rich in detail that I felt I was right there with him, watching his life unfold from a small child to early adulthood. Simon is a survivor and hero through poverty, illness, and tormenting bullies. He navigates this world with resilience, acceptance from his loving father and music but at times his journey is unbearably hard.

I was so compelled and thankful to see behind the curtain of Simons young life. I saw and connected to parts of my own childhood that brought me to tears and closure at the mere fact I was not alone growing up in the 60s in an unaccepting world to those of us they thought were "different." Like him, the music of Marc Bolan/ T. REX made the journey bearable at first and the battle cry as each battle was won.

I look forward to reading the sequel with bated breath.

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A page turner that will have you gripped and desperate to find out more.

Reviewed by Sarah Blake

What a book! This is a genre I rarely find myself reading, I’m a crime fiction addict for my sins and enjoy the escapism that provides. This, however is a page turner that will have you gripped and desperate to find out more. It’s impressive enough to have Simon’s ability to recall the minute details of his childhood but to be able to create this wonderful book that takes us on an emotional journey with those memories is remarkable. You feel like you’re walking alongside him, feeling the joy, sadness and horror of a young life that is moulded by his experiences.

I eagerly await the next instalment!

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Heartbreaking and heartwarming.

Reviewed by Kiwilover

I found it very difficult to put this book down and go to sleep. A heartwarming but heartbreaking true tale of a lad growing up in the St Ann’s area of Nottingham. His journey through his life to adulthood are remembered and written in amazing detail. You can picture everything as it is described, maybe not the outfits he discovers and wears. His relationship with his parents but especially his father ‘warms the cockles’. I can’t wait for the next instalment of Simon’s memoirs. A thoroughly good read.

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Mesmerising reading.

Reviewed by Amazon customer

I love a book that is hard to put down and Simon Smalley's is definitely one of those!

Taking the reader through his early childhood and the devastating change that happened to him at such a young age, how he was shaped by his sexuality remaining unafraid of who he was in the face of at times extreme aggression.

It was an emotional experience and I cried, laughed and got angry!! Thank goodness for your dad was my final thought as I put down the book and immediately wanted to ask when the next one is out - what a cliffhanger!!

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Lyrically detailed, and never boring…this unique life-story must be made into a film.

Reviewed by Neal Brown

Simon Smalley has created a triumphant masterpiece, beautifully written with style and pizazz that authentically plants the reader in 1960s and 70s. This amazing, inspirational memoir left me with my emotions mangled. I experienced anger, desperation, hope, affection, frustration, love, and at the very end, a kind of shared victory. There are upsetting low points in the author’s life. Perhaps too many for one young male to endure from such a young age. How he tells us of his early and teenage years doesn’t come across as whinging but as matter-of-fact, sort of “this is how it was”. The way he writes is lyrically detailed, and never boring, it takes you in there with him in every situation.

The humour is subtle and made me laugh aloud whilst the gripping tension of the harrowing experiences made me put the book down several times, and some chapters almost made me weep with anxiety. I didn’t want to read further but I knew that I must to learn what happened.

If there is justice in the world this unique life-story must be made into a film. Lots of people could learn a lot about compassion and support from reading about the unique relationship Simon Smalley had with his dad. If I could award five hundred stars then I would be happy to. Highly recommended.

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Eloquently and bravely written…a must read.

Reviewed by Angela Waldram

This man’s ability to overcome all that he faced in his childhood, survive it and then write so eloquently about his challenges is inspirational. Having spent so much of his childhood hiding the hate , physical and mental abuse he faced everyday at school because he was ‘different’ but still being able to stand out from the crowd and be the person he knew he was meant to be shows incredible bravery.

When you read this book, when the writing draws you in and you find yourself immersed in the terror this man felt as a child but also in the love of his parents who stood up and encouraged their child to be their own person you will be in awe of the man that has opened himself up and been brave enough to share his early life with us.

Read it , share it , talk about it with your children and above all else it’s a reminder to us all to be kind because we are all just getting on with living and going into battles no one sees us fight …..

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Such vivid imagery in this memoir, it’s beautifully written and immerses you straight away.

Reviewed by S. T. Sorrentino

This is a beautifully written memoir. You are immediately immersed into 1960's council estate Nottingham. Simon's vivid recollections are so detailed you really feel like you are there walking through them with him. The Notts dialect and slang is great to read (not just as a Notts lass myself), it absolutely puts you straight in the heart of his childhood world. His family and neighbours brought to life so well, you'll think you know them.

And - it is an important book, we need more real life stories from the LGBT community out there, especially ones with such wonderful loving parents. There are tough times and there is love and hope.

I hope there are more books to come!..

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An Absolutely Fabulous read.

Reviewed by Gooner

A fantastic read, I couldn’t put the book down, it had every emotion from laughing to crying, a wonderful memoir.

It took me back to my childhood with Simon’s excellent attention to detail, I could picture it vividly.

A must-have read.

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Amazing.

Reviewed by Mrs. M. Hunt

What an incredible read, I couldn’t put this book down , the ups & downs of Simon’s life were difficult to read at times , heartwarming & heartbreaking can’t wait for the next book

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What a book!!!!! I couldn’t put it down!!!

Reviewed by Mike Howard

Simon brought memories from that era alive for me, l was born in 1947 and spent most of my teenage years socialising in Nottingham and l married a Lady from St Anns, so l spent a lot of time in a property not dissimilar to Simon's home.

Simon's writing brings words to pictures in your head.

The ill treatment Simon suffered at school must have been horrendous, the teachers should have been sacked, the doctor should have been struck off!!! Today l would like to think they would be.

Father Sid, what a Man !!! people may think that a tough ex RAF man, who was unable to talk about his experience in the war, perhaps wouldn't have been sympathetic to his Son, but how wrong could they be.

Simon painted such a vivid picture, l can't wait for the next book.

This is book that details all of the adversity that Simon had to suffer and yet his strength of character shines through.

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Baby you know who you are

Reviewed by Stephen Lloyd

This is a beautifully written account of the childhood and teenage years of a boy experiencing relentless trauma of an emotional and physical kind.

But, and it is a important but, don’t let this put you off reading this marvellous book as it’s also laced with such humour and warmth in its story telling that Simon’s accounts become life affirming.

Simon’s resilience and bravery in dealing with loss, incessant bullying from peers, and physical disability requiring prolonged episodes of pain and treatment, is inspiring.

I was angered whilst reading his story by the cruelty and homophobia Simon experienced at school. Including some heartless comments and behaviours by teachers! But I was also left laughing at times by his efforts to adopt a glamorous lifestyle akin to his pop hero. See his failed attempt to make himself some T.Rex shoes from polystyrene!

What touched me most in the book however was Simon’s lovely father and the detail of the supportive relationship they had together. Just eye wateringly adorable. Mr Smalley senior fully accommodating, indeed oftentimes promoting, his son’s ‘differences’.

Simon’s love of Marc Bolan throughout his childhood is one Which I shared too. The healing power of music and idols through times of adversity should never be underestimated.

Honestly, buy this book. You will be rewarded I promise. I am really looking forward to volume two.

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I absolutely loved this book to the point where I couldn't put it down.

Reviewed by Caroline Barry

I absolutely loved this book to the point where I couldn't put it down.

It was so honest, well written and emotional that it was a pleasure to read. As a queer person, I could identify with the struggles Simon experienced. It was really touching to read about his relationship with his family, in particular his father, who was incredibly supportive. The book is heartwarming and heartbreaking in equal measures but there is plenty of laughs and queer joy to be had.

The book is set in Nottingham and weaves in the beautiful history of the area of St. Ann's which has undergone a transformation and provides an excellent snapshot of life at that time.

I always believed in the importance of knowing our history as a community which means there need to be more books like this available. I am so ready to hear about the experiences Simon may have had in the 1980s and cannot wait for the next instalment.

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Fabulous

Reviewed by Louise

Reading the book I always felt I was in the room with him experiencing it all. Both the heartbreaking and heartwarming. From the torment he received for being different, to the nurturing support of his father.

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An inspiration for everyone that doesn't fit.

Reviewed by Mark Wallis

When a free spirit gets crushed, it's alarming. To read about it in such a richly detailed memoir is even more arresting because some of the darker moments reflect my own experience exactly.

Simon Smalley presents his colourful life from toddler to teen, complete with joyful glam rock excess, family tragedy and social torment. His wonderful doting father and some good friends help him to face adversity and after battling mental and physical challenges, he becomes the person he always needed to be.Good humour and a kaleidoscopic imagination elevate this tale of being different in 1970s Britain, and the final chapter is a triumph. An inspiration for everyone that doesn't fit.

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Definitely worth reading.

Reviewed by Susan Kirkland

I’ve almost finished this book. You are drawn into the world of this little boy Simon and experience everything he experiences though Simon’s descriptions; from joyous days out and time spent with his family to the awful experiences he lives through.

It’s very sad and although hope is always round the corner, it is sad. I don’t know the ending yet but I’m hoping. Bullying is a terrible thing and children can be extraordinarily cruel to each other.

Definitely worth reading

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This book will appeal to anyone who enjoys a tale of love and self-belief triumphant over pain and oppression.

Reviewed by Chris Buck

Biographies and autobiographies about the 'great and the good' abound, including those of famous LGBT+ people. What interests me are the lives of other ordinary gay boys, like me, how they have survived and prospered. That's what you get with this book, but it's no ordinary tale. It's a story of blatant persecution, physical and mental suffering, but also love, courage and determination which deserves greater appreciation from many audiences not just the Gay Community.

"That Boy Of Yours Wants Looking At" is a working class statement I can easily imagine my own father uttering. In the book we hear of the first 19 years of the life of Simon Smalley growing up in a poor area of Nottingham, up to when he first contacts Gay Switchboard in the early 80s, something many gay men will have experienced.

The youngest of six children, Simon was indulged by his mother who encouraged him in his natural desire to dress up. She allowed him to use her own clothes and shoes and other items brought in for the purpose, and then Simon would parade around the streets, as if he was on a catwalk, meeting his public. All very open and honest, Simon was being himself.

Sadly his mother fell ill and she failed to recognise Simon on one of his visits to hospital accompanied by his father. My own mother failed similarly to recognise me at age 60, I can't imagine what that would be like for a nine-year-old boy. Soon after Simon's mother passed away, devastating the whole family, and his ex RAF dad had to become father and mother to him.

This father-son relationship is central to the book and Simon continues to devise costumes for himself to wear, now with the advice and assistance of his father. Two of Simon's brothers, Tim and Nick, are still at home at this time but they have left school and are working so they are in no position to help Simon with the bullying he gets at school.

The other boys recognise that Simon is different and make his life a misery, he only has a few girl friends that will come to his aid and teachers even make matters worse. If that wasn't bad enough Simon accidentally hurts one of his legs, the family doctor bungles his assessment of the condition and Simon becomes permanently disabled. There are now two factors that separate him from the crowd, Simon is no longer just a 'puff', he is also a 'spaz'!

At the same time Simon becomes conscious that his body has developed a good deal of breast tissue, which is often found in adolescent boys. Fearing yet another issue to highlight him being different from the rest, Simon takes to binding up his own chest in taught old vests held together by multiple safety pins, that are anything but. He keeps up this self-torture for six years before he shares this secret.

Throughout all this Simon's father is working full time, running the house and servicing all three boys with home comforts and catering. Simon recognises his father's situation and doesn't want to pass on his problems to his father. The father fears that if he can't keep everything going, as it was when his wife was alive, he could lose Simon to Social Services.

A great part of their loving father-son relationship is about each one protecting the other from further difficulties and worries. But eventually Simon's father helps him to deal with each of his problems in turn, save one; his state of mind. Simon has to control and conquer his paranoia and anxiety for himself, something people from all walks of life will find commonality with. Anyone enduring mental isolation and bullying is very likely to develop these conditions, me included.

Throughout the book Simon finds solace and distraction in his love of music and literature. A fan of Marc Bolan and T. Rex, Tom Robinson and his band, along with many others; a trip to 'Selectadisc' in town would raise his spirits as would money for records from his dad. Simon played all his music in his bedroom which became his sanctuary.

One thing I really appreciate in the book are the descriptive passages which put vivid images in my mind. I retain details of Simon and his dad fashioning home-made polystyrene glam-rock platform shoes, father and son going home from hospital in the snow together and another occasion where Simon musters his strengths sat amongst the heady scents of nicotiana and sweet peas in his father's garden.

I also enjoyed the incidental characters that crop up within the book. The dinner ladies, nurses and hospital porters, the specialists and consultants, all very believable. We have all met people like them, good and not so good for us.

This book will appeal to anyone who enjoys a tale of love and self-belief triumphant over pain and oppression. I enjoyed witnessing the loving relationship between father and son, very touching in places. The ending after all their struggles raised my spirits and I found it very uplifting. Many gay men will say they had it tough, I don't deny that but I doubt many had it quite as tough as Simon. For me it was a lesson in humility and I can't wait for Part Two!

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This book will appeal to anyone who enjoys a tale of love and self-belief triumphant over pain and oppression.

Reviewed by Chris Buck

Biographies and autobiographies about the 'great and the good' abound, including those of famous LGBT+ people. What interests me are the lives of other ordinary gay boys, like me, how they have survived and prospered. That's what you get with this book, but it's no ordinary tale. It's a story of blatant persecution, physical and mental suffering, but also love, courage and determination which deserves greater appreciation from many audiences not just the Gay Community.

"That Boy Of Yours Wants Looking At" is a working class statement I can easily imagine my own father uttering. In the book we hear of the first 19 years of the life of Simon Smalley growing up in a poor area of Nottingham, up to when he first contacts Gay Switchboard in the early 80s, something many gay men will have experienced.

The youngest of six children, Simon was indulged by his mother who encouraged him in his natural desire to dress up. She allowed him to use her own clothes and shoes and other items brought in for the purpose, and then Simon would parade around the streets, as if he was on a catwalk, meeting his public. All very open and honest, Simon was being himself.

Sadly his mother fell ill and she failed to recognise Simon on one of his visits to hospital accompanied by his father. My own mother failed similarly to recognise me at age 60, I can't imagine what that would be like for a nine-year-old boy. Soon after Simon's mother passed away, devastating the whole family, and his ex RAF dad had to become father and mother to him.

This father-son relationship is central to the book and Simon continues to devise costumes for himself to wear, now with the advice and assistance of his father. Two of Simon's brothers, Tim and Nick, are still at home at this time but they have left school and are working so they are in no position to help Simon with the bullying he gets at school.

The other boys recognise that Simon is different and make his life a misery, he only has a few girl friends that will come to his aid and teachers even make matters worse. If that wasn't bad enough Simon accidentally hurts one of his legs, the family doctor bungles his assessment of the condition and Simon becomes permanently disabled. There are now two factors that separate him from the crowd, Simon is no longer just a 'puff', he is also a 'spaz'!

At the same time Simon becomes conscious that his body has developed a good deal of breast tissue, which is often found in adolescent boys. Fearing yet another issue to highlight him being different from the rest, Simon takes to binding up his own chest in taught old vests held together by multiple safety pins, that are anything but. He keeps up this self-torture for six years before he shares this secret.

Throughout all this Simon's father is working full time, running the house and servicing all three boys with home comforts and catering. Simon recognises his father's situation and doesn't want to pass on his problems to his father. The father fears that if he can't keep everything going, as it was when his wife was alive, he could lose Simon to Social Services.

A great part of their loving father-son relationship is about each one protecting the other from further difficulties and worries. But eventually Simon's father helps him to deal with each of his problems in turn, save one; his state of mind. Simon has to control and conquer his paranoia and anxiety for himself, something people from all walks of life will find commonality with. Anyone enduring mental isolation and bullying is very likely to develop these conditions, me included.

Throughout the book Simon finds solace and distraction in his love of music and literature. A fan of Marc Bolan and T. Rex, Tom Robinson and his band, along with many others; a trip to 'Selectadisc' in town would raise his spirits as would money for records from his dad. Simon played all his music in his bedroom which became his sanctuary.

One thing I really appreciate in the book are the descriptive passages which put vivid images in my mind. I retain details of Simon and his dad fashioning home-made polystyrene glam-rock platform shoes, father and son going home from hospital in the snow together and another occasion where Simon musters his strengths sat amongst the heady scents of nicotiana and sweet peas in his father's garden.

I also enjoyed the incidental characters that crop up within the book. The dinner ladies, nurses and hospital porters, the specialists and consultants, all very believable. We have all met people like them, good and not so good for us.

This book will appeal to anyone who enjoys a tale of love and self-belief triumphant over pain and oppression. I enjoyed witnessing the loving relationship between father and son, very touching in places. The ending after all their struggles raised my spirits and I found it very uplifting. Many gay men will say they had it tough, I don't deny that but I doubt many had it quite as tough as Simon. For me it was a lesson in humility and I can't wait for Part Two!

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Mastery of the English language

Reviewed by D.

What an incredible and moving memoir by the author Simon Smalley. His mastery of the English language perfectly describes bygone eras which at times reflected my own childhood. From the opening pages I could not put his book down, feeling a need to support him throughout his difficult journey in life. Those school bullies need to hang their heads in shame at the cruelty they once inflicted. His incredibly supportive parents must be proud of what he has achieved in writing his life story.

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